


playing with fire

by guanlin



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, Jinhwi Fic Fest Round 1, M/M, Minor Character Death, No one Major Dies, Zombie Apocalypse, just gonna put it out there, lowkey happy ending no worries everyone, thats right lads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2019-01-01 01:38:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12145830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guanlin/pseuds/guanlin
Summary: there's nothing after this, nothing beyond this. this is war, survival, love and then the end.





	playing with fire

**Author's Note:**

> this is my entry for jinhwi fic fest round one promt no. 2 , playing with fire! (heads up, this has nothing to do with playing with fire sorry to let you down)
> 
> not my best, not my worst. enjoy.

_you’re gretel, he says but would he trick your demons the way she did? would he free you from your cage and give you your life back? or does he only know how to get off the road for berries without letting you return?_

 

 

_It goes like this._

 

They are all attempting to sleep, heads tucked into their chests on the floor, curled near each other for the sake of preserving body heat when Jisung comes rushing through the entrance, shouting for everyone (read: Daehwi, Woojin, Sungwoon and Guanlin) to retrieve their weapons. No one even stops to ask why, the fear blowing Jisung’s pupils wide made it easy enough to tell. _Their makeshift fortress is under attack._ A few months ago, at this revelation, Daehwi would have been puzzled, wouldn’t ever dream of having a weapon on him and would probably have been more concerned about who these people were. Three months ago, everything was normal. Daehwi had attended high school, possessed both parents and frequently stared out of the classroom window at his sleepy little town wishing something, _anything_ , would happen. On a Tuesday morning of mid-July, he learnt to regret it. The school’s receptionist had burst into their classroom, claiming that something had been chasing her before the ‘something’ - _un-human_ \- bit a huge chunk out of her shoulder. Daehwi remembers the horror of it, the stark brightness of her blood as it oozed from the wound, her face, frozen in horror and that _thing_ behind her. It’s skin had been a sickly yellow, waxy under the classroom’s harsh lighting, it’s lips grey and rubbery, smeared with red. There had been a huge gash across it’s chest but instead of dripping blood and gore, it gaped open, like one of those dolls used in biology lessons to talk through the digestive system - except there was definitely nothing plastic about this. There was no blood, no redness. Daehwi remembers retching, falling to his knees and gagging as he caught site of the white glimmer of bone, caging in two grey massy lumps that he assumed were lungs. Daehwi didn’t know whether he was glad or not it was missing a heart. Despite having seen much worse since then, the image seemed to stay tattooed to the back of his eyelids always - his first impression of a zombie. His first impression of his life to come.

 

“ _Daehwi!_ ” Woojin hisses at him, face half obscured in shadow, “Are you coming?” 

He shakes his head a little, as if to rid himself of  the terrible image and stoops down to retrieve the baseball bat propped against the wall. Woojin has two long knives stuffed haphazardly down his jeans and when Daehwi jogs to meet him, he hands him one. 

“Thanks,” he hears himself say, voice a little rough at the edges. He mirrors Woojin, pushing the blade into the belt loop of his jeans, “Have the others gone ahead?”

Woojin barely spares Daehwi a glance, instead checking right and left as they leave the main room and filter out into the corridor, a hand on Daehwi’s chest. It’s almost pitch black in here, Jisung and Daniel having boarded up all of the windows in an attempt to keep the undead out. Despite this, Daehwi can see the other three boys at the end of the corridor, standing anxiously a couple of metres back from the main entrance to the sports centre they had stumbled across a month ago. Daehwi feels the familiar spike of anxiety he always did before they faced zombies, the uneasy feeling in his stomach that this time, _they might finally get him_. Woojin reaches out to him as if he can tell what Daehwi is thinking and laces their fingers together. They shuffle to the other three as quietly as they can, not wanting to aggravate whatever waits outside anymore than they already had. It’s rare that Jisung rouses all of them, even when there _is_ zombies outside, so Daehwi’s brain automatically assumes that there’s a whole hoard of them, that they’re all going to die in some gory bloodbath. 

“Have you taken a look?” Woojin whispers, when they reach the other three, gesturing to the sliver of un-boarded door that they are able to see out of. Daehwi notes that the bags under his eyes are getting worse, although he’s not sure what to do with the information. The nightmares are ceaseless, for all of them. Jisung is about to reply when the previously faint noises outside become multitudes louder. They, whatever it was, had begun banging on the door, as if they could sense what waited on the other side. Reflexively, Daehwi had shoved Woojin behind him, backing all five of them up into the wall in case the door gave way into them. When they didn’t, he lowered his arms, allowing them to spread out. 

“What do we do?” he finds himself asking. 

“We can’t leave them there,” says Guanlin, “they’ll find a way in somehow.”  
“We need to see how many of them there are,” Jisung murmurs, head bowed in thought, “If there’s a couple, we can fight them off easily, but if there’s a lot, we can’t risk opening the door and letting them in.”

“So one of us has to look,” Sungwoon says finally, “Any volunteers?”

They all glance at each other and Daehwi decides he’s going to have to take one for the team, sighing before starting towards the door. Like everything Daehwi has done since he had grabbed the other boy and shoved him head first out of their classroom window to save him from a zombie, Woojin comes with him, placing both hands on his waist so he can pull him back quickly in case anything gets him. 

 

Daehwi takes a deep breath before rising onto his tiptoes, baseball bat secure in his hand. He’s done this before, of course, they all have, but never when they were literally on the other side of the door. He braces himself for the worst, the terrible sight of zombies that he just _knows_ he’ll never get used to, however many times he has to bash their rotten brains in, or shove knives through their bloodless bodies. Instead of seeing that, however, an eye, a _human_ eye greets him, perhaps a centimetre from his own. He jerks back in surprise, triggering Woojin to pull him backwards, both of them stumbling to the floor. Immediately, Woojin rolls to his feet and the other four boys crowd around him, weapons out, checking him for a bite or an injury. 

“It’s not a zombie,” he says, breathless from the surprise fall, “It’s a person, or _people_.”

The banging on the door has resumed but, this time, if Daehwi listens properly he can make out actual words. 

“Let us in!” the person shouts. 

“ _Us_ ,” Jisung says, “There’s multiple.”  
Daehwi quickly scrambles to his feet, moving to the hole again. He can feel Woojin hovering behind him. The person previously peering in through the gap had obviously moved back, leaving Daehwi a view of who was directly outside the door. It’s pathetic really, the excitement Daehwi feels at the sight of new people, _six_ new people to be exact. He’s been cooped up with the same four boys for a month now.  
“There’s six of them!” Daehwi exclaims, far too loudly, and a boy with dark hair and strong facial features leaps up, pressing his eye against the gap. Daehwi pulls back again, shoving both he and Woojin back into the wall, where the other three waited. 

“Do we let them in?” Woojin asks, running his hand up and down the handle of his knife. It’s his nervous habit, Daehwi has noticed.

Jisung purses his lips. 

“I don’t know,” he says, “Do we? What if they just want to take our stuff? What if we let them in and they steal all we have and leave us to die?”

He makes a fair point but Daehwi can’t help but feel bad for them. It was hard to feed just two of them when he and Woojin were running, he can’t imagine how hard it must be to feed six.  
“But think about us out there, how Woojin and I were when we found you,” Daehwi begins, maintaining steady eye contact with the boy in front of him, “Do you remember? We’d been on the run for a month, in constant fear. We were near starvation and dehydration and you saved us, Jisungie-hyung. We should help anyone that can still _be_ saved. It’s hard to tell how many of us are even left in the world.”

Jisung lifts his head and regards Daehwi for a moment, and then the three boys surrounding him, gaging their reactions. Finally, he sighs. 

“You better be right, Daehwi,” he says, lifting his hands to his hips, “Otherwise we’ll eat you first.”  
Daehwi smiles despite himself and he feels a sudden rush of affection for the older, who hadn’t failed to make them feel comfortable and make them laugh since he and Woojin had arrived. It’s a funny thing, the apocalypse. Daehwi hates it with almost every fibre of his being, hates it for taking away what’s most important to him and yet a small part of him doesn’t condemn it, if only for helping him meet these boys, these wonderful, kind, brave boys, whom he wouldn't have met otherwise. They make an unlikely group but, somehow, Daehwi wouldn’t have it any other way. 

 

Jisung looks at Sungwoon for a final confirmation. The larger boy nods, offering Jisung a reassuring smile. The eldest turns away from them, towards the door and Daehwi finds himself drawing in a breath. What if he'd just killed them all? Jisung moves his mouth to the gap. 

“Are you all human?” he asks, voice commanding. He's always been able to do that, make himself heard without being loud. Daehwi hears scrambling on the other side of the door and then a thump against the door, as if one of them had smacked into it in haste to get close enough to reply. He’s strangely endeared.

“Yes!" they exclaim, “Although one of ours has a head injury.”

“Zombie caused?” 

“No!” the voice exclaims, “Of course not. He fell and banged it.”  
Jisung turns back to look at them, raising an eyebrow. Daehwi nods.

“Let them in,” he mouths. 

“What do you want from us?” Jisung asks them instead. Daehwi thinks it might be a blessing that Jisung isn’t as trusting as him.

“Shelter, food, maybe - if you have it. We really just want to heal our friend though,” the boy (at least it sounds like a boy) replies. 

Jisung rests his face against the wood of the door for a minute, obviously thinking things through before he leans back and lifts the plank of wood they had used as a barrier. He presses his hand down onto the handle and swings the door open, natural sunlight leaking through. Daehwi winces at the sight of it, not used to so much and shields his eyes as he attempts to take a look at whoever stands on the other side of the door. On reflex, all five of them had raised their weapons, positioned in a sort of arc around the door. When Daehwi’s eyes finally adjust he’s met with three boys, the middle one propped up on the other two, a bandage around his head whilst three others gaze over their shoulder. 

“Well,” the guy with the head injury says, a lopsided smirk on his handsome face, “Aren’t you all a force to be reckoned with?”

 

Jisung raises an eyebrow and turns to Daehwi as if to say _do you regret letting them in yet?_ but Daehwi just looks past him, at the new six. Despite his cockyness, they’re obviously in a bad condition, bloodied and dirty and tired, the shadows under their eyes almost black in their depth. There’s one boy at the back who is obviously in pain, his small face set in a deep frown. Daehwi lowers his weapon and strides forward. 

“Guanlin,” he says, gesturing to the younger boy and, without having to ask, Guanlin steps forward and, together, they relieve the two guys at the front of their duty of holding up their friend, wrapping their own arms around him in support. At first, one of the boys seems reluctant to let him go and Daehwi can relate because he doesn’t know if he’d let someone just _take_ Woojin from him if he was injured but they all look near to collapsing from exhaustion so the boy realises he has no choice. Daehwi feels guilty. It’s hard to work up trust in a world like this, he knows it as well as anybody. However, the action seems to spring them all into action and Jisung pulls the door back fully, ushering them all into the dark corridor. The light illuminates all of the dust motes before Jisung sticks his head out of the door, blocking most of the light as checks left and right and then slams it closed behind them. Darkness falls over them and for a second, they all just stand there, sizing each other up (or as much as they can in near pitch-black). With his hand on the boys back, Daehwi can feel just how thin he is, feel his spine pushing through the skin. He’s about to ask him if he’s hungry but there’s suddenly _a lot_ more weight pushing down on them and even though the boy is thin, he’s not _light_ and Daehwi and Guanlin struggle to hold him up.

“Are you okay?” Daehwi asks him but receives no reply. He feels for the boys chest and breathes a sigh of relief when he feels a heartbeat. It wouldn’t be the first time that someone’s just dropped dead right next to him. 

“I think he passed out,” Daehwi says and his eyes are adjusting more now so he can see the other’s faces. The boy that had been reluctant to let him go beforehand sighs and steps forward. It’s obvious that he’s the strongest when he crouches a little and wraps a hand under the boy’s kneecap, the other one supporting his shoulders. When the boy lifts him, his head snaps back and Daehwi can’t stop himself from wincing. His arms dangle limply as if he’s _already_ dead. 

“He passes out a lot?” Jisung asks, pushing through the knit of boys to begin walking back to the sports hall, weapon raised. 

“Yeah,” one of the boys murmurs, he’s short with fluffy blonde hair, “He just does it randomly.”  
Jisung nods, anyone who didn’t know him would think that he had accepted the statement and moved on but Daehwi knows him and he knows that Jisung doesn’t think the boy will last. He wonders if the other people he came here with know that too. 

“You alright?” someone murmurs to him. He knows that its Woojin without having to look. He nods.

“That guy isn’t, though.”

 

It doesn’t take them long to reach the sports hall. He and Woojin bar the door, then chain it and _then_ block it with chairs. 

“Surely that’s a fire hazard?” one of the new kids jokes. Daehwi turns around, he’s small with pink cheeks and Daehwi would have thought him cute if it weren’t for the kitchen knife in his hand. 

“I think that's the least of our worries,” Woojin replies, a hint of a smile on his face. 

The boy smiles too and reaches forward with a hand outstretched. 

“Jihoon,” the boy says. Both Woojin and Daehwi mirror him, introducing themselves and then Sungwoon, Guanlin and Jisung.

“So, who are the others?” Woojin asks, leaning back against the wall with a hand on his hip. 

“Uhh, the boy with the head injury is Seongwoo, the boy with him is Daniel - they’re inseparable. The one in the striped shirt is Jaehwan, tall and handsome is Minhyun and dark and brooding is Jinyoung.”  
Daehwi follows his finger, registering each name to each face. It’s not hard to remember them, seeing as these are the first new people he’s seen in a long time. Daniel has placed Seongwoo down on one of their sleeping mats and he and Jisung lean over him, probably talking about how to treat the wound. A tall boy with dark hair, Minhyun stands at his feet, as if guarding him. 

“How’d that happen?” Woojin asks Jihoon and the boys smile drops immediately. It’s easy to tell when someone is thinking about something terrible, eyes clouding over as if they’re _there_ again - Daehwi knows the panic of it. “He got hit over the head with a baseball bat.”

He can’t stop himself from gasping, he’s killed _zombies_ with one swing and a well aimed hit. Jihoon smiles at him but it’s devoid of humour or warmth. 

“There was another gang we had a run in with, they must have thought we were zombies or something because they attacked us. Jinyoung got injured too.”  
Woojin continues the conversation but Daehwi finds his gaze on the other boy, Jinyoung. He’s got dark hair and an even darker face, all sharp angles casting shadows. He sits isolated from the others, feet tucked underneath him on a chair. It’s obvious he’s favouring the right side of his body - Daehwi remembers _he_ was the one who looked pained earlier.

“Has he been treated for it?” Daehwi asks, eyes never leaving the other boy. 

“Who? Jinyoung? No. He insists it’s not that bad.”

Daehwi nods and he’s already made up his mind to help Jinyoung even before he sets off towards him. 

 

 

“Jihoon says you’re injured?” Daehwi asks in favour of greeting. Jinyoung jumps, startled before raising his head to meet Daehwi’s gaze. Daehwi softens, apologetic. 

“Sorry,” he says, voice quiet, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”  
The boy lowers his head again, murmuring a quick ‘it’s fine.’ Daehwi doesn’t know whether he’s talking about the injury or his apology. 

“Do you want me to look at it?” he asks. 

“Look at what?”  
Jinyoung’s voice is nice, deep and clear and Daehwi moves to sit down in front of him, placing his bat down next to him. 

“Your injury.”

Jinyoung shrugs his shoulders, still staring down at his lap but he begins to unfurl his leg from underneath him. Daehwi is alarmed to see his trouser leg wet with blood, though he’s relieved to see it’s nowhere near a life threatening amount. He places his hands out palm up in front of him, waiting for Jinyoung’s permission to touch him. The boy nods and it’s the first time he’s made eye contact and suddenly he’s breathless. He doesn’t know what he was expecting but it’s definitely not this, not at all. One of Jinyoung’s eyes is silver, ringed with black and the other one is a strange coppery gold, dusted with brown. He finds himself sucking in a breath like he hasn’t forever. It’s strange, Daehwi’s never seen anyone with eyes like this before, eyes like he’s just stepped out of a fairytale. It’s like pure mercury, clear and smooth with the black saucer of a pupil in the middle, it’s _beautiful_. Jinyoung is beautiful. The thought hits him full force in the chest and he has to dart his eyes away for a moment, he hasn’t been in the position to look at anyone even remotely romantically for the longest time, either too old or too young or _Woojin._ The thought simultaneously scares and excites him. Jinyoung seems to take him averting his eyes as something bad because he bows his head, a blush colouring his cheeks a pretty pink. Daehwi can’t help the way he watches him.

“Sorry,” Jinyoung murmurs, “People usually get pretty freaked out by the eye thing.”  
Daehwi scrambles to explain himself. 

“Don’t apologise!” he exclaims far too quickly, “It’s - I think it’s beautiful!”

Jinyoung’s head snaps up in surprise and Daehwi is struck once again by the strange otherworldly beauty of his eyes. Sunlight streams through the higher up windows, catching the boys face just right. The golden eye is lit to a strange yellow, like a cat’s eye and the silver turns impossibly dazzling, the dappled surface of the moon in an empty sky. Daehwi can’t stop himself from leaning closer, Jinyoung keeps watching him, gaze steady even though Daehwi can hear his breath catch when he leans closer. It makes Jinyoung look regal, royal even, as if he’d just been thrown out of a palace on another planet, fated to spend the rest of  his life among humans. 

“They’re wonderful,” Daehwi murmurs and then Jinyoung blinks, face going even darker and Daehwi sits back on his heels, finally deciding to do what he came here to do. He wraps his fingers tentatively around the bottom of Jinyoung’s leg, deciding he should just get on with it whilst Jinyoung’s mind is on other things, trying desperately not to pain him more than he already is. Despite his best efforts, Jinyoung still winces. 

“Sorry,” Daehwi murmurs as his hands work to roll up Jinyoung’s jeans. He would just cut them but he doesn’t know how many pairs the boy has -  clothes are a rare commodity, after all. Daehwi can see Jinyoung’s knuckles turning white as he grips the edge of his chair, he stops his movements. 

“Okay?” he asks and Jinyoung nods, tipping his head back. It’s obvious he’s in a lot of pain.

“Can you…talk to me? I don’t know, distract me?”  
Daehwi is surprised, at first, he had immediately pegged Jinyoung as the ‘suffer in silence’ type but he’s happy to comply. 

“How’d this happen?” he asks. It’s not the most tactical topic to choose but it’s not as if they can talk about something like the weather - they barely see the sky most days. He hasn’t got far to go until he reaches Jinyoung’s knee, just a little more. 

“Uh,” Jinyoung begins, voice strained, “Barbed wire. We were chased by some guys and I got caught in the fence. It’s where Seongwoo got injured, too.”  
Daehwi nods, face taught with concentration as he finally rolls Jinyoung’s jeans up far enough to reveal the whole of the wound. It’s a huge gash running the length of Jinyoung’s calve, deep enough to be oozing blood. Daehwi can see even in this bad lighting that it hasn’t been cleaned, blackened with gravel and dirt. 

“I’m going to have to clean it,” Daehwi tells him, “Otherwise it’ll get infected. When did it happen?”  
“Yesterday,” Jinyoung says and his eyes are wide as saucers as he stares down at his leg, as if it’s the first time he’s seen his wound. It _could be_. Daehwi nods, standing up and brushing off his jeans. He places a finger under Jinyoung’s chin, tilting his head up.

“Try not to look at it too much,” he tells Jinyoung and the other boy nods a little, “I’m Daehwi, by the way.”

 

Jisung and Daniel have unwrapped the bandage from around Seongwoo’s head when Daehwi reaches them. 

“He still hasn’t come round?” Daniel jolts at his sudden appearance. 

“No,” he replies honestly. Seongwoo looks deathly pale, almost ghostly. His whole forehead is bruised mottled green and yellow and there’s a cut in the middle, where the bat had most likely made the most impact. Daehwi doesn’t bother asking whether he’s going to be alright. How are they supposed to know, anyway? The other boy, Minhyun, still hasn’t left Seongwoo’s side. Behind him, sits the boy in the striped shirt, an arm thrown over his shoulder.

“Where’s the first aid kit?” Daehwi asks Jisung. 

“Why?”  
“The boy over there, Jinyoung, has a pretty bad cut on his leg. I need to clean it before it gets infected.”  
Jisung doesn’t even look up from where he’s rubbing bruise cream onto Seongwoo’s forehead. The boy groans and moves a little at the contact whilst Jisung gestures to their rucksacks in the corner. It’s hard to miss Daniel holding his hand, even if no one mentions it. No one had dared to unpack their bags, even after more than enough time here to get comfortable.  Instead, they leave  them in the corner, fully packed and ready in case they’d have to leave without a moment’s notice. Once Daehwi finds the big red bag they store all the first aid in, he wanders back over to Jinyoung. The boy is already watching him. 

“You good?” Daehwi asks in greeting, Jinyoung just nods. 

“Thank you,” he says quietly whilst Daehwi kneels down before him, puling out antiseptic spray and wipes. Daehwi shrugs.

“We have to look after each other,” he says in reply, _we’ll all die if we don’t,_ “Saying that, this is gonna hurt, though, alright?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widen and, as if he’d heard, Jihoon materialises at his shoulder, Guanlin on the other side of him. 

“What’s going on?” the small boy asks Jinyoung. Daehwi watches his eyes catch on the cut. Ill-disguised worry immediately makes it’s home on his face. 

“It has to be cleaned, otherwise it’ll get infected.” 

Jinyoung grimaces up at Jihoon, who Daehwi assumes is his friend. He decides that he should just start whilst Jinyoung is distracted so he presses a wipe to the wound. Immediately, Jinyoung lets out a noise like a dying animal, filled with un-concealed pain, his hands dart out to push at Daehwi’s shoulders, to protect himself. Daehwi pulls in a breath, allowing Jinyoung to push him back, dig his hands into his shoulder blades. 

“Jinyoung,” he reprimands, although his voice is soft with sympathy, his leg is bleeding again, running a stream into his socks,  “You need to let me do this, otherwise it’ll get infected.” Daehwi hates this, has always hated it but it’s worse now, staring into Jinyoung’s strange eyes, filled with pain. 

“Here,” Jihoon says and he reaches out a hand so Jinyoung can grasp it. The boy crouches next to him, gesturing for Guanlin to do the same on the other side. Jinyoung laces his fingers with both of them. It doesn’t seem to matter that he hasn’t spoken a word to Guanlin probably ever.

“Try and stay still, okay? It’ll be done quicker that way.”

Jinyoung nods, eyes already squeezed shut. By the time Daehwi’s done, there’s tears running down his cheeks. 

 

Daehwi bandages the wound and secures it with a safety pin. He doesn’t bother trying to pull his jeans back down, knowing that it would only cause him more unnecessary pain. 

“All done,” he murmurs, standing up. Jinyoung has his head in his hands, elbows braced against his knees. He doesn’t react, doesn’t even bother to lift his head so Daehwi reaches a hand out to settle on his back, hopefully comforting. Jihoon and Guanlin had since been called to help get them all food from the supply room. As soon as Jinyoung feels the contact, he crumbles into him, leaning sideways until he’s resting his head against Daehwi's stomach. He's shocked, for just a second, that Jinyoung trusted him enough to do this, enough to patch up his wound and then collapse onto but then he remembers ‘ _people usually get freaked out by the eye thing’_ ‘ _no! it’s beautiful_ ’. He wonders how many people have reacted like that to Jinyoung’s eyes, probably not many for Jinyoung to trust him this easily. For some reason, the thought of it angers Daehwi, makes him want to protect Jinyoung from all the terrible things in the world. The reality that he can’t even protect _himself_ makes his insides feel cold, let alone Woojin and his friends and this strange boy. He decides he’ll just have to settle for pulling Jinyoung closer to him, looping his hand around his shoulders.

“You’re alright now, Jinyoung-ie,” he whispers, “Don’t worry.” 

Daehwi isn’t one for lying, but he’ll do it just this once, to make Jinyoung’s shoulders stop shaking.

 

-

 

Daehwi learns that, when not passed out, Seongwoo is very funny. He wakes up an hour later, possibly at the smell of food. Woojin and Daehwi had raided what felt like thousands of houses when the apocalypse had first occurred, collecting enough food to feed a small army. Although the stocks were fast depleting, together with Jisung, Guanlin and Sungwoon’s supplies, they would have enough to last them for a while. It wasn’t food with a lot of nutritious value, mostly just canned goods, ramen, snack items but it kept them going, which was more than enough. They all sat together around the little gas burner that had been in the store cupboard. Seongwoo consistently cracking jokes, sitting between Daniel’s legs. Daehwi thinks it sweet that they’ve stuck together since the beginning and now sit here, hands intertwined but he pities them in a way as well, the white of Seongwoo’s bandage stark against his dark hair, Daniel clutching at the other boy’s hands a little too tight to be casual. Woojin sits opposite he and Jinyoung and Daehwi can’t help but glance at him, searching for the telltale longing in his eyes. Woojin had been dating a boy called Hyungseop before the apocalypse. They were very much in love, their relationship sweet and pure but Hyungseop had refused to leave with them during the first day of the apocalypse no matter how many times Woojin asked him to. They didn’t find his body when they returned to the school a couple of days later, but it’s glaringly obvious they both think he’s dead, even if Daehwi doesn’t dare mention his name. Woojin stares into his pot of ramen, swirling it around aimlessly. He’s thinking about him. Daehwi leans forward and nudges him with a foot. 

“You good?” He doesn’t have to say much, the look in Woojin’s eyes says enough.

Woojin looks up, smile small but genuine. 

“Yeah. I’m good.”

Daehwi decides he likes their company a lot. He likes Jaehwan with his loud laugh and inappropriate humour and Minhyun, the exact opposite with his soft smiles and calming personality and Seongwoo and Daniel, sweet and honest and raw and Jihoon, loyal and caring. And then there’s Jinyoung, with his eyes and his blind trust and how he keeps his shoulder pressed against Daehwi’s own throughout the whole meal. He could get used to this. 

 

-

 

At night, they take shifts. One person stays awake for four hours, weapon in hand, guarding the others whilst they sleep. It’s not a difficult task, although it’s a nuisance when you’re struggling to keep your eyes open. Tonight, it’s Daehwi’s turn. His shift starts at midnight and continues till four in the morning, where he’ll wake Woojin to do the rest. Essentially, he won’t sleep tonight. He’s two hours through his shift when a faint rustling sound from the corner, gradually increasing in sound. He jerks his head up, breath catching in his throat as fear spikes his heart. Had a zombie somehow managed to get in? He stands quickly and, raising his bat onto his shoulder, begins stalking his way towards the noise. This part of the gym is cast into shadow and his breath catches in his throat as he sees a dark figure rising, he lifts his back to swing.

“Daehwi!” someone shout-whispers, “What are you doing?”

Jinyoung. He breathes a sigh of relief. 

“What the _hell_ , Jinyoung? Why aren’t you sleeping?”  
In his limited vision, he sees Jinyoung shrug sheepishly. 

“My leg,” he says, “I can’t sleep.”

Daehwi nods, finally lowering his bat. His hands are shaking.

“Can I sit with you?” Jinyoung asks him, bashful. It’s endearing, Daehwi thinks, how Jinyoung lowers his head and scratches at the back of his neck like he’s inconveniencing him to just ask to sit together. He resists cooing. 

“Of course you can,” he whispers instead and, together, they pick over the mass of sleeping bodies until they reach the little circle of chairs Daehwi had been sitting on beforehand. 

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung tells him as soon as they sit down.

“For what?”  
“Walking in on all this,” the other boy says, gesturing to Daehwi’s friends, Jisung and Sungwoon curled together, Woojin and Guanlin a few metres away from each other, “I know you guys were sort of a team beforehand. It feels wrong just coming in here bringing you nothing.”  
Daehwi looks at him, watches the way the yellow light of the torch casts long shadows over his face and decides that this boy really isn’t from this world. If he was, the zombies would have beaten any compassion, any guilt from his body already. 

“It’s fine,” Daehwi says, “We enjoy the extra company.”  
“Seongwoo,” Jinyoung begins and Daehwi already knows what’s coming before he even says it, can tell by the look in Jinyoung’s eyes, “Do you think he’s going to die?”

Should he tell him? Jinyoung doesn’t seem like the type of person who likes being lied to but, for some reason, Daehwi can’t bear seeing pain _he_ caused appear in his eyes. He’s already done it once, anyway.

“I…I don’t know,” he says finally.

“I think you do, Daehwi. I think we all do.”  
“Why did you ask, then? If you know?”  
Jinyoung watches him. They’ve turned towards each other now. 

“I want to know if you think the same as me.”  
Daehwi sucks in a breath. He’s surprised to feel that it’s shaky. He’s more than used to losing people now, more than used to discussing death as casually as if it was the weather so why is he hesitating now? The war has made him ruthless, _had_ made him ruthless. 

“Yes,” he says finally, probably with more force than necessary, “I think the baseball bat hit more than just his skull, if we’re looking at him passing out all the time. I think he has a bleed in the brain and I don’t think he has long left.”

Jinyoung is still watching him with those eyes of his. They look eery in this light, so bright they’re almost luminous. 

“Days?” he questions and it takes Daehwi a moment to drag his eyes away from his face. They’ve become almost stiflingly close. If a zombie were to attack now, they’d all die. 

“Maybe.” There’s a sort of intensity to Jinyoung’s voice that Daehwi likes, like everything he says holds a great deal of importance, “Nothing more than a couple weeks.”

Jinyoung nods, finally looking away and it’s only now that Daehwi notices the tremor in his hands. He reaches out, places his hand over Jinyoung’s own and watches him flinch. 

“I’m sorry,” he says and he means it. The war has made him ruthless, not cold-hearted, “I know how terrible it is to lose people.”  
“We all do,” Jinyoung says in response. His hands have stopped shaking. “How many people in this room still have parents left?”  
Daehwi looks around, staring at each of his friends as they lie in little heaps on the floor. 

“None,” he says, honestly, “Probably. Woojin and I definitely don’t.”

Jinyoung moves his hand so that it’s more comfortable to wrap his own around Daehwi’s. It’s a little strange, holding hands with someone Daehwi had met mere hours ago, but not unwelcome. 

“How’d you find this place, anyway?” Jinyoung asks, swiping his thumb once over the back of Daehwi’s hand. He prays Jinyoung can’t feel his goosebumps.  
“Woojin and I were classmates before this. We watched our teacher get eaten and then jumped out of our classroom window,” - Jinyoung chuckles at this, like it’s funny. Maybe it is, their humour is a little twisted nowadays  - “The town we used to live in was crawling with zombies. I’m pretty sure we almost got bitten like six times on the way to my house. I didn’t know what to think at all, but I never thought that my parents wouldn’t be at home. It was the same for Woojin, our whole families had just disappeared. I’d like to think they ran away, but i know that they probably got eaten o-or turned themselves, I don’t know.”  
Daehwi runs his free hand over his face. He doesn’t bother mentioning Hyungseop, the mess they went through to try and find him, figuring Woojin wouldn’t want him to, “Woojin and I decided to stick together, then, as both of our families were gone. We spent a month just running, never finding anywhere to stay, raiding shops and factories for food. That was, until he and I stumbled across this place. We were half-starved and injured when we found it, like you guys were. It was just Sungwoon and Jisung then, holding up the fort all by themselves. They took us in about a month ago and then Guanlin joined us about a week later. Apparently, we attract all the lost souls of the post-apocalypse world.”

The final sentence was supposed to be a joke but Jinyoung doesn’t laugh, instead leaning forward, elbows on knees. He’s staring at a spot in front of him. 

“I’m sorry about your family,” he says finally.

Daehwi shrugs, like it hadn’t just hurt him to retell the story, like the panic he had felt when he’d found his empty house wasn’t threatening to push at his ribcage now, threatening to burst out and drive him crazy. 

“What about you?” he manages out, “How’d you get here?”

If Jinyoung notices his anxiety, he doesn’t mention it, only squeezing his hand. 

“I was with my family at first,” he says and there’s something in his voice that suggests this story isn’t so easy for him either. Daehwi wants to tell him he doesn’t have to, but he also wants to hear his story, “We got caught in an attack, there were maybe ten zombies on the three of us. My parents saved my life but I lost them in the fight. I-I don’t even know what happened to them.”

Daehwi’s heart aches at the thought of it, the sheer unfairness of the world. He wraps his free arm around Jinyoung, pulling him impossibly closer. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, “I’m really, really sorry.”

Jinyoung closes his eyes for a moment, eyelashes so black against his pale skin that Daehwi half expects them to leave a sooty powder on his cheekbones. 

“It’s fine,” he murmurs, and he seems to get a hold on himself because he leans a little away, taking a deep breath, “So I was alone for a while, you know just trying to survive on my own. I couldn’t go home because that part of the town was crawling so I just had to stay wherever I could. I found the others in this massive house thing but some kids tried to take it from us, attacked us. That’s how Seongwoo and I got hurt. We let them have it, we were having some trouble there with zombies anyway so we left. That’s how we found you guys.”

Daehwi nods, they’re still holding hands, although Jinyoung has begun to curl up on the padded part of the loveseat they were seated on. Daehwi remembers dragging them all from the reception area, he and Woojin giggling every time the legs squealed across the floor. He smiles a little, despite himself. 

“Is Woojin your boyfriend?” Jinyoung asks suddenly, his head is down on his legs now, hand awkwardly outstretched towards Daehwi. Said boy splutters. 

“Of course not!” he says, “Do you think I’d be holding hands with you if he was?”  
Jinyoung doesn’t answer, just smiles sleepily. The last thing Daehwi sees before he drifts off himself is those two cat eyes, smooth and calm. 

 

This isn’t the first time Daehwi’s been woken by Woojin’s screams. They all have nightmares, each one varying in horror but Woojin has a recurring one. They don’t talk about it but Daehwi can guess what it might be about because Woojin wakes up crying, screaming for Hyungseop. It’s very much the same this morning. Daehwi jolts awake, hands immediately going to his weapon before he realises that _relax, it’s just Woojin_. This isn’t the first time _Daehwi’s_ been woken but it is the first time Jinyoung has. The boy in question jolts awake, pulling his hand from Daehwi’s grip to immediately grasp the handle of his knife. His eyes dart around, bright and feverish in their attempt to pinpoint the noise, pinpoint the threat. Around them, everyone else is awake too but it seems Jisung, Sungwoon and Guanlin have begun explaining what’s happening to the others because none of them have their weapons raised anymore. Jisung is looking at Daehwi expectantly. 

“Nightmares,” Daehwi murmurs to Jinyoung and it’s only now that he notices Jinyoung’s hand on his arm, grip tight and protective. Under another circumstance, he would have blushed but instead, he pries Jinyoung’s grip from his arm gently before standing and making his way over to Woojin. The boy has kicked his blanket off in his sleep and now he lies in the middle of his mat, body curled in on himself. Daehwi’s heart aches for him, for how small and vulnerable he looks, the boy that had pulled him out of danger more times that he can count. Woojin’s stopped shouting now, although he’s still whimpering Hyungseop’s name, hands clenched into fists at his chest. Daehwi leans down next to him. He feels like there’s an unbearable cloak of sadness pressing down on them all. 

“Woojin-ie,” he murmurs, voice dripping affection. Said boy stirs but doesn’t wake so Daehwi reaches out a hand and smooths it through Woojin’s dark hair. 

“Woojin,” he tries again and this time it works, Woojin’s eyes fly open and his hand reaches to clasp around Daehwi’s wrist. It takes all of his self control not to flinch. 

“Daehwi,” Woojin manages to gasp out and that’s all it takes for Daehwi to pull Woojin into his arms. He breaks down sobbing, hands knotting themselves into Daehwi’s t-shirt and it’s so, _so_ sad that Woojin, who has never done anything wrong in his whole life, has to suffer this way. 

“I miss him,” Woojin chokes out and Daehwi has never been more angry at anything in his entire life. He shushes him, rocking his body like a baby as he presses a kiss to the crown of his head. 

“I know,” he whispers, “I know, Woojinie.”

 

“Who’s Hyungseop?” Jinyoung asks him later, eyes trained on Woojin’s back. Everyone had understood and accepted what happened with Woojin, they had all lost people to the zombies. 

“Woojin’s boyfriend,” Daehwi tells him, “We don’t know what happened to him.”  
Jinyoung nods, sighing. 

“Poor Woojin,” he says finally. 

_Yeah,_ Daehwi thinks, _poor Woojin._

 

-

 

His prediction is almost correct. Seongwoo dies a week later. It isn’t Woojin’s screams that wake them up this time, it’s Daniel’s. Daehwi reacts almost instantly, the screams are so loud and piercing, they sound like they’re right next to Daehwi’s ear so he does what anyone would do, rolls on top of Jinyoung to protect him. Jinyoung’s breath gets knocked out of him but he manages to roll Daehwi off of him anyway. 

“It’s not zombies,” he murmurs, “It’s Daniel.”

Daehwi jumps to his feet immediately, pulling Jinyoung up after him. Daniel is screaming for Jisung, even though he’s right next to him, screaming for him to save him. 

“You can wake him up, right?” Daniel says frantically and it physically hurts to see calm, level-headed Daniel so frantic, clutching Seongwoo’s cold hand. Daehwi can tell that Seongwoo’s dead, even from here, the reassuring rise and fall of his chest stilled. Daniel, however, keeps trying. Jisung looks shocked, kneeling there next to Seongwoo’s body. Daniel kneels over his boyfriend, cupping his cheeks. 

“Seongwoo, please,” he begs, “Please, baby, please wake up.” He chokes on a sob. 

“I can’t do this without you,” he says, “Please, I can’t do this without you. You- you _promised_ me Seongwoo, you promised we’d make it through together.”

Daehwi feels a tear make it’s way down his face. Jinyoung and Woojin stand either side of him - he can’t bear to look at either of them. Instead, he looks at Jihoon, his face buried in Guanlin’s chest. He watches Guanlin, face pale and stony, a hand protectively around Jihoon’s shoulders. Sungwoon, towering over Jisung’s kneeling form, face wet with tears. Jaehwan and Minhyun, behind Daniel, their hands curled together. And of course, Daniel and Seongwoo. Seongwoo looks unearthly with his dark hair fanning his face, brown eyes staring up emptily at the ceiling. Daehwi doesn’t say anything when he feels Jinyoung’s hand slip into his own, feels him hide his face in his shoulder. He doesn’t say anything when Minhyun, who he is yet to talk to, pulls Daniel’s shaking form into his arms. He doesn’t say anything when Jisung kneels over Seongwoo and closes his eyes, slowly, gently, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. Daehwi decides then that the world is a terrible, terrible place and he wouldn’t mind watching it burn. 

 

He does say something, however, later when he finds Jinyoung in the old changing rooms, sobbing with his head in his hands. 

“Jinyoung,” he says. He hates how cold his voice sounds. Jinyoung sniffs and wipes at his eyes before he lifts his head up to Daehwi. He still finds him beautiful, even with his hair a mess and his eyes all puffy, Jinyoung is still the most beautiful thing Daehwi has ever seen. With Seongwoo’s death, just twenty two, at the forefront of his mind,  he decides that however long he has left, a day, a month, a year, he wants to spend it with Jinyoung. The sudden rush of affection makes him weak in the knees, forces him to sink down onto the bench next to him. 

“I’m sorry,” Daehwi says and he moves to continue but Jinyoung just places a hand on his knee, touch burning through the thin material of his jeans. 

“Daehwi, don’t, please?” Jinyoung says and he can’t help looking, can he? He never has been able to. 

“Don’t talk,” he continues, “I don’t want to talk.”

And then he leans forward and kisses Daehwi so hard colours explode behind his eyelids. It’s a surprise, but not unexpected. It’s easy to tell Jinyoung likes him, it always has been and hopefully, it’s easy to tell that Daehwi likes Jinyoung. There’s no point running circles round each other when you might have your legs kicked out from under you any moment, any second. It only takes Daehwi a second to kiss back, to get over his initial surprise and move his lips against Jinyoung’s. The said boy is frantic, desperate and Daehwi is nothing if he doesn’t give him what he wants, if he doesn’t move with as much passion as Jinyoung does although it’s hard because Jinyoung’s hands are _everywhere_ , on his face, tangled in his hair, on his shoulders, his legs, his waist and eventually they’re under his thighs, pulling him to sit on his lap. Daehwi makes a surprised noise in his throat but allows Jinyoung to pull him forward anyway, press their chests flush together. 

“Please don’t let that happen with us,” Jinyoung whispers, pressing their foreheads together and Daehwi’s mind is more scattered than it’s ever been at the proximity, so much so that he barely catches the words, too busy staring at Jinyoung’s face. This close, his eyes look like saucers, like the surface of far distant planets. 

“I won’t,” he answers finally, even though they both know he can’t promise that. His heart is beating so hard he worries it will break through his ribcage. Jinyoung seems to know that too because he sighs heavily, closing his eyes. Daehwi can’t even imagine the way Jinyoung must be feeling. He’d known Seongwoo for a little more than a week and although that could be a whole lifetime out here, Jinyoung had known him a lot longer. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs again, fingers playing absentmindedly at the hair at Jinyoung’s nape. He knows the other boy had asked him not to apologise but he can’t seem to help it. He opens his eyes and Daehwi feels his hands on the small of his back, trying to pull him impossibly closer. Jinyoung leans forward again, catching Daehwi’s lips in another kiss. It’s slow this time, languid, as if they are both under the false impression that they have all the time in the world. 

 

 

The next day, a little past dawn, they all congregate at the door where Jinyoung, Jihoon, Seongwoo, Daniel, Jaehwan and Minhyun had come to them what felt like centuries ago. They entered as a six but this time, if they would ever leave at all, it would be as a five (or an eleven). They had moved Seongwoo’s body into one of the supply rooms, temporarily until they decided what to do with it. It had taken Daniel a long time to calm down, and then even longer to stop staring at the wall blankly. The grief, the sheer sadness of it had frightened all of the younger ones, the five of them sitting in a row on the other side of the wall, talking in hushed whispers. No one had dared to interfere, all of them aware what it was like to have grief make a puppet out of them. Later however, Daniel sits down with them at dinner and smiles a watery smile. Daehwi can’t help it, he lets go of Jinyoung’s hand and flings himself forward into Daniel’s unsuspecting arms. The older boy laughs him off but his next words are thick with ill-disguised emotion. 

“I want to…I want to take his body out,” Daniel begins and Jinyoung slips his hand back into Daehwi’s. No one has interrupted, “there was a place we used to go when we were on the run not too far from here. I want to lay him there.”  
Jisung, their un-appointed leader nods in understanding, although there was worry etched onto his face. 

“Alone?” he questions, voice quiet and soft. Daniel nods and there’s already an uncertain feeling at the pit of Daehwi’s stomach. It’s easy to tell Jisung doesn’t know how to handle this. 

“A-are you sure, Daniel? How will you protect yourself if you get attacked and you’re handling Seongwoo?”

Daniel shrugs and Daehwi knows immediately that he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies now. Jinyoung squeezes his hand. They all know that losing hope is the second largest killer in this world, the only precedent would be the zombies themselves. 

“Okay,” Jisung says and it seemed that everyone is stunned, “We’ll let you go, but only if you swear to us that you’ll come back.”

Daniel looks guilty. He knows they all know what he was thinking. 

“We need you Daniel,” Jisung presses, “Seongwoo wouldn’t have wanted you to just give up.”

This changes Daniel’s face and Daehwi silently praises Jisung for being halfway to a manipulative bastard. 

“Okay, I promise I’ll do my best to come back to you guys,” Daniel says and then adds, “For Seongwoo.”  
“For Seongwoo,” they all echo.

 

Now, Daniel holds Seongwoo like he had when Daehwi had first met them, a hand under his knee and the other on his shoulder. Daehwi thinks it’s sadly ironic that this time he actually _is_ dead, instead of just looking it. He feels guilty for the thought straight after. It’s obvious that Daniel is trying hard to hold back tears, staring down at Seongwoo’s lifeless face so Jisung hurries it along a little and Daehwi doesn’t know whether it’s for Daniel’s benefit or their own. He unbars the door, takes a peep through the gap to make sure they’re not in any immediate danger and then throws it open. The door groans in protest as it swings back on it’s hinges and they all have to squint at the natural light filtering through. In it, they all look a lot worse for ware. Especially Daniel, who has dark bags under his eyes, his face deathly pale. He and Woojin had slept next to each other last night, curled against each other’s bodies as if they could help lessen the grief each of them felt.

Now, though, Daniel stands alone and for a second he is illuminated in light, Seongwoo’s body dangling in his arms. They all watch him go, Woojin sandwiched between Sungwoon and Jisung whilst the others stand in their respective pairings. 

“Do you think he will come back?” Guanlin asks. 

Sungwoon moves to close the door once Daniel’s body has disappeared down the grassy slope, casting them all into darkness again. 

“He promised,” is all he replies. 

 

Daehwi doesn’t say anything when Jinyoung curls up closer than he ever has that night, just lays his head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. It’s safe to say none of them sleep well that night. 

 

 

Daniel still isn’t back when they wake up in the morning, tangled around each other on their flimsy sleeping mats. Jisung and Sungwoon are already awake, Sungwoon watching Jisung pace back and forth in front of the door before he obviously gets tired of it and pulls Jisung down to sit next to him, both resorting to staring aimlessly into the corridor. They eat breakfast in relative silence, huddled together in a little circle because it’s always cold in the morning. Every second, the bubble of anxiety in Daehwi’s chest gets progressively bigger and he can tell the same goes for Jinyoung as well because his hands just won’t stay still, they flit around Daehwi’s back, over his shoulders, into his hair. They pull at loose threads in his jeans, flutter over his thighs and his fingers eventually get so far up that he worries Woojin will separate them for public indecency so he slams his hand over Jinyoung’s own to stop the movements. 

“Will you _stop_?” he says although it’s with no bite. Woojin and Jihoon are giggling opposite them. Jinyoung allows Daehwi to lace their fingers together but then he just starts fidgeting with his _other_ hand so Daehwi sighs, long and suffering before he stands, pulling Jinyoung with him. Despite the strange atmosphere, both Woojin and Jihoon find it in themselves to wolf whistle as they pass so Daehwi finds it in himself to jam the front of his boot into Woojin’s thigh. He doesn’t stay behind to hear the pained whine he lets out, just pulls Jinyoung towards the exit of the main hall. They’d had the door open since this morning in order to hear Daniel coming. Jisung and Sungwoon have moved now, leaning up against the wall, heads bowed together in hushed conversation. They’re losing hope, too. They all are. He pulls Jinyoung along with him until they’re a little down the corridor near the main door. 

“What’s up, Jinyoung-ie?” Daehwi asks him, leaning back against the wall. Even now, Jinyoung is bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“I can’t stay still,” the other boy says, eyes alight with anxiety. 

Daehwi sighs, “I _know_ that,” he says but he doesn’t have time to say anything else because Jinyoung is pressing him against the wall and the proximity is making him dizzy. 

“Jinyoung, I don’t know if now is the time,” he hears himself say, even though his hands are already on Jinyoung’s shoulders, pressing down enough to feel the sharp jut of bone. 

“Please,” Jinyoung says, hands moving against the soft skin of Daehwi’s stomach, “Just distract me.” 

Who is Daehwi to deny him that?

 

The distraction, however, doesn’t last long. Jinyoung’s hands are in his hair when he first hears it. It’s quiet, almost whispering volume but your hearing tends to sharpen a remarkable amount when you’re always in grave danger of getting eaten. He stops Jinyoung with a hand on his chest and immediately goes to grab his baseball bat, shoving Jinyoung behind him. He hears it again, closer this time. 

“You hear that?” he whispers to the other boy, still breathing hard. 

It happens again and this time it’s close enough to make out: ‘help me’. 

“Daniel,” Jinyoung gasps out, breathing still laboured but Daehwi is barely there to hear it, instead shouting for Jisung. Everyone is next to them within ten seconds, weapons in hand. Throwing caution to the wind, all nine of them begin running down the corridor, feet smacking against the floor. Jaehwan reaches it first and he immediately presses his face to the gap. What he sees must surprise him because he staggers backwards, Minhyun’s hands on his waist the only thing preventing him from falling. 

“What?” Jisung asks anxiously, “What is it?”  
Jaehwan is breathing hard, chest rising and falling quickly. 

“It’s Daniel,” everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief, “But he has company.”  
Daniel is shouting again and Daehwi flies forward to take a look for himself. Daniel is appearing up the grassy bank, a _horde_ of at least fifteen zombies on his tail but that’s not the most alarming thing. In his arms is a body. For a moment, Daehwi wonders if Daniel never made it and just had to bring Seongwoo back but then the body moves and Daniel has picked up an injured person. 

“Oh my God,” Daehwi gasps, “We need to help them.”  
His fingers fumble with the wooden plank that blocks the door, Jisung jumps forward and places a hand on Daehwi’s wrist, grip not hard or soft, just commanding. 

“What is it?” 

“It’s Daniel, he has someone with him, i think they’re injured because he’s carrying them but there’s loads of zombies. He won’t make it.”

Jisung breathes in sharply, shoves Daehwi out of the way and removes the slat himself. He throws the door open and Daniel comes into sharp focus. He’s obviously struggling carrying the boy in his arms and there’s sixty metres between him and the door and maybe five metres between him and the zombies. 

“Daniel!” Jisung screams and Daniel finally seems to notice that the door is open, “Daniel, hurry!” 

If anything, Daniel is getting slower, energy sapped from more than twenty-four hours out in the wilderness. 

“We can’t fight them all,” Jihoon says, panic edging his voice but before anyone replies, Daehwi is pushed aside by Woojin. His best friend is squinting up at Daniel and the boy before his jaw drops open. 

“Hyungseop?” he murmurs, voice quiet in disbelief, “Hyungseop!” 

He shouts it this time and Daehwi can see it now, the familiar shape of Hyungseop’s shoulders. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Daehwi whispers. He reaches a hand down to grip Woojin’s hand, the same way Woojin had for him. Hyungseop’s t-shirt is stained red and he’s dripping blood onto the grass. The zombies are closing in. 

 

Before anyone can utter another word, Woojin has torn Daehwi’s grip free from his wrist and he’s running, out towards Daniel and Hyungseop. Daehwi’s body jolts forward. 

“Woojin!” he screams, he makes to move forward, go after him but something - someone - stops him, arms around his middle. Panic rises in his throat in waves, hot and uncomfortable and he can feel tears pricking his eyes, “Woojin!” he screams again. Daniel is on his knees now, Hyungseop laying limp in the grass in front of him. The zombies are a couple of metres away - they’re slow but Daniel is slower. 

“Woojin! Let me- Jinyoung! Let me _fucking_ go - We can’t let them get him!”

Daehwi is sobbing now, on his knees in the dust. Jinyoung’s arms wrap even tighter around him, preventing him from leaving. 

“Woojin! _Please, Woojin!”_

Woojin has reached them now and he kneels in front of Hyungseop, lashing out with his knife at any zombies that reach them. They retreat, at least a little but they all know Woojin can’t fight them all. The boy turns and shoves Daniel forward so he stumbles down the bank. 

“Go Daniel!” he shouts and Daniel starts crawling now, five metres, three metres until Jisung rushes forward and physically drags him in. 

“Help them!” Daehwi shouts, voice hoarse, “Somebody _fucking help them!”_

The zombies are on them now, tearing at their clothes but Woojin doesn’t seem to care. Even from a good fourty metres away, Daehwi can see him smiling. He watches as Woojin pulls Hyungseop’s body against him, leans down to kiss him. Daehwi’s rational side knows that even if Woojin could leave now, he wouldn’t do it without Hyungseop. 

“Woojin!” he shouts again, just for the sake of seeing him turn to him, seeing his eyes for the last time and Woojin turns to him now, just before the zombies surround them. 

“Thank you!” he screams, “Thank you, Daehwi!” and then they can’t see him anymore. All they can see is the putrid yellow of the zombie’s skin, their ragged clothes and Daehwi finally stops struggling.

 

“ _Fuck_!” he screams and Jinyoung pulls him into his lap, pushes his head under his chin and let’s him cry, lets him shout and scream because Woojin was his _best friend._ He was the person Daehwi had been stuck with since the beginning, had lost his family with, had been saved by and saved and he's gone and left him in this terrible world. Daehwi is surrounded by people, but he’s never felt more alone. 

 

Eventually, Jisung has to close the door because the zombies had begun their way towards them. Daehwi can’t find it in himself to look, scared at what waits in the space where he’d last seen Woojin but he sees Guanlin wince and pull Jihoon into him so he doesn’t have to look to already knows that it’s gruesome. Suddenly Daehwi is angry, rage pulsing through his veins, into his bloodstream and he stands up then, crowding Daniel into the wall, fists pummelling uselessly at his chest. He must look a mess, face scrunched up and tear streaked but he’s so _angry_ , he can’t even find it in himself to care.  

“God, Daniel!” he shouts and no one, not even Daniel, attempts to stop him even though his voice will attract even more zombies, “Why’d you have to fucking do that, man? You fucking killed him, Daniel, you fucking know that right? You’re weak, Daniel, you _killed him_!” 

He doesn’t even notice the tears running down Daniel’s face when Jisung pulls him away, he just puts his arms out for Jinyoung and falls into him. Jinyoung lowers them to the floor, running his hands soothingly through Daehwi’s hair, pressing kisses to his face. 

“Shhh,” he murmurs, rocking him gently and this makes Daehwi cry even harder because he used to do this for Woojin, “Shhh, Daehwi we’re gonna be okay, we’re gonna be fine.” 

“God, I fucking hate _everything_ , Jinyoung, why is nothing ever fucking fair?”

Jinyoung just shushes him again, smoothing a hand through his hair. 

“I know, baby. I know.”

-

 

Daehwi doesn’t know how long he cries for, he just knows by the time he stops, the zombies have long since got bored and light is beginning to disappear from the cracks in the boarding. It’s been long enough now for Daehwi to have his conscience back and the guilt he feels about Daniel is immense. His head hurts so much that it feels like someone is wrapping their knuckles against the inside of his skull _repeatedly_ so he decides to stop crying for both his and everyone else’s sake. Jinyoung is at first reluctant to let him go, holding him close until Daehwi sighs. 

“Jinyoung,” he says and his voice sounds _horrible_ , ragged and grating, “Jinyoung, I need to apologise to Daniel.”

Daehwi can tell Jinyoung wants to lecture him but he doesn’t, he just nods and leans forward, pressing a kiss to Daehwi’s forehead. He watches him, his serious small face and his downturned mouth and Daehwi wonders exactly when it was that he began to wonder about how Jinyoung’s eyes would look blown wide, how his lips would feel pressed against his own. Daehwi leans forward and pecks him on the lips, hoping that all his gratitude and love is communicated through it because god knows he can’t voice it right now. Jinyoung seems to understand because he smiles, barely there, but a smile all the same. 

 

The hall falls silent when Daehwi enters, each of them half reproachful, half sympathetic. Jihoon, the closest to Woojin after Daewhi has obviously been crying, pink cheeked and tear stained, his hands wound into Guanlin’s t-shirt. Daehwi offers him a small, watery smile to which he returns. Daniel sits in the corner, alone, his head on his knees. 

“Daniel,” Daehwi says softly and his guilt multiplies when he sees Daniel’s face, eyes puffy and red from crying. He falls to his knees in front of him. 

“Daehwi,” Daniel murmurs, “You were right. I am weak. Woojin wouldn’t have died if it wasn’t for me, I’m sorry.”  
“Daniel, _no_. Woojin couldn’t have lived without Hyungseop for much longer, you brought him back to him, Daniel, really. You did him a favour none of us could have ever done - you made him happy, for however long.”

Daniel looks up at that, hands clenching and un-clenching. 

“Really?” he asks and the sheer hope in his voice is almost painful. 

“Really,” Daehwi tells him, “I was being selfish when I said all those things to you, I just wanted Woojin to be with me, whether he was happy or not. Thank you, Daniel - for making him happy.”  
A tear slips down Daniel’s face and Daehwi reaches forward to gently wipe it away. He’s surprised to find that the words he speak resonate with him as well, manage to lessen his own pain just a little - enough to make the grief previously suffocating him more breathable, easier to live with. Daehwi spreads his arms a little and Daniel smiles, wrapping his own around him and they stay there, holding each other, united in both their love and grief. 

 

Later, when he and Jinyoung lie facing each other, hardly any space between them, Jinyoung reaches for his hand, curling their fingers together in between them. 

“I love you,” he murmurs, bold and unapologetic and Daehwi has to close his eyes for a second because the intensity of Jinyoung’s own have him dizzy. 

“I love you too,” he finds himself whispering back and he means it, he really does. Jinyoung squeezes his hand and Daehwi finds himself desperately wanting to tell Woojin, to have him smirking at them from across their little circle, wants him cracking jokes with Jihoon, wolf whistling whenever he and Jinyoung do _anything_ and in that moment, he misses him so much it’s hard to breathe. 

 

-

 

It’s another week later before things change for good and it’s one of the worst in Daehwi’s life. They had lost two of their group in less than two weeks and the mood was sombre twenty-four seven, everyone had their respective groups (or trios if Sungwoon, Daniel and Jisung were anything to go by) and mostly stuck with them, although Jihoon and Daehwi had ended up spending a lot of time together so, by extension, that means Guanlin and Jinyoung were also there. They’re talking about nothing in particular, something hushed and quiet when Minhyun and Jaehwan come and sit themselves next to them. It’s not that this part of the sports hall is their place, but it also kind of is and after the tense week they’ve had, it’s strange that the two older boys, the ones Daehwi probably knows the least would come and sit next to him and Jinyoung. Minhyun smiles at him but his eyes betray his anxiousness. He’s eerily handsome, like a doll and Daehwi finds himself staring a moment too long. Jinyoung’s hand tightens on his shirt. 

“Hi?” he says hesitantly. He tries hard to keep both his surprise and distaste out of his voice but losing Woojin has lost him both his tact and his filter. Jaehwan smiles at him, almost a grimace. Minhyun is obviously about to reply when Jisung, Sungwoon and Daniel come and sit next to Guanlin and Jihoon, so they’re in a makeshift circle.  There's a strange silence, tension thick enough to be cut with a knife but still, Daehwi's kind of glad that they're finally all within five metres of each other. The last week had been hell enough but for some reason, doing it whilst avoiding the other five people living in the space had been even harder. Across the circle, Sungwoon offers Daehwi a hopeful smile, to which he returns it.  
“So," Jisung begins, ever the mediator, “I thought it was time to intervene in this strange silence we have going on.”  
Daehwi feels Jinyoung tighten his hold on his t-shirt, so minute that it’s hard to even tell but he can _always_ tell when it’s Jinyoung. He turns to him, about to ask him what’s wrong when he hears a sound. It’s incredibly faint, even for their fine tuned hearing but it’s _there_ , unmistakeable. Jinyoung’s hands wind their way even tighter in the fabric and Jisung is about to speak again when Daniel shushes him. Ah, so they’re not the only ones. It’s strange, the sound, like gentle wings flapping against air except on a much larger scale. The noise shakes a memory loose in Daehwi’s mind, albeit a distant one, but a memory all the same. He’s heard this noise before, but _where_? Before he can even think about it, Jihoon exhales fast. All heads whip his way and he’s mouthing something, something unintelligible at first but his mouth eventually shapes words. _A_ word. He says it over and over again, until it almost loses meaning but Daehwi can’t even begin to process it. _Helicopter,_ he says, mouth working in dizzying circles until Daehwi has to look away, clutch at Jinyoung’s forearms. 

 

 

“Helicopter,” he hears himself saying and then he’s shouting it, and he’s the first one to move, to jump to his feet with wide eyes. Jinyoung is next, sliding his hand into Daehwi’s grip and then Jihoon and Guanlin and the final five. Daehwi takes off running, pulling Jinyoung along behind him until they reach the door in the corner, barricaded by a wooden plank. Together, Daniel and Sungwoon manage to pry it off and then the door is being flung open and Daehwi rushes up the stairs, baseball bat in his free hand. White light rushes through the hallway and for some strange reason, it feels like the ascent to heaven. The light on his paper thin skin, the weight of Jinyoung’s hand in his own. He finds himself turning to the other boy in the rush, their eyes meeting and watching the hope in his eyes. Daehwi knows that they shouldn’t, that it’s probably nothing but his heart warms at the sight of him, _his_ Jinyoung, warm and open. Daehwi also knows that he shouldn’t have let himself fall in love with him, shouldn’t have let him kiss him in the changing rooms what felt like centuries ago now and yet he did. He let it. 

 

They burst out, all of them pouring onto the roof and for an agonising second, Daehwi can’t see it, and all that fills his ears is white noise until Sungwoon is gasping and reaching a finger up into the sky to point out the aircraft, barely a dot in the sky above them. Daewhi’s heart leaps into his throat, trying to beat it’s way out and he tightens his hold on Jinyoung. The group is silent for a second before they all burst into action, shouting and screaming and waving their arms like the mad men they are because this is their _only_ chance. If they don’t grab onto it, tight with both hands, then they’re practically dead men walking. _How ironic_ , he thinks. They’re making an awful lot of racket, and Daehwi hates that he forgot about the zombies, about the exposure and the fact most of them had come out here lacking necessary weapons. Every part of his body fills with dread when he hears the familiar laboured breaths. He clutches his baseball bat with one hand and shoves Jinyoung behind him with the other, reaching for his knife as he spins around. There’s two of them, disgusting and horrifying and Daehwi, even after all this time, can never fight the urge to gag. It’s easy to forget really just how terrifying they are up close, when they’re near enough to smell them. He glances up for just a second and hope sparks up again in his throat when he sees the black dot is slightly larger now. _Maybe,_ he thinks. He knows he shouldn’t. 

“Shit,” he hears Minhyun mumble under his breath and it’s so obvious that he’s trying to put himself between them and Jaehwan but the other boy will have none of it, shoving forward to have them standing side by side. 

 

The zombies advance towards them, and it’s Jisung and Sungwoon who make the first move, plunging forward. It’s hard not to wince when he sees the clean slice, hears the pained growl of a zombie. Fear is like a pulse in his throat, not overwhelming, not incredibly noticeable but enough to pump it round his body like adrenaline. It seems that all of them take a second to think, a second to gather their wits and their courage, a second to make a silent prayer. It’s as if, everything stops for a moment. Daehwi thinks of his mother, his father. Seongwoo. He thinks of Hyungseop, of Woojin. Jihoon, Jisung, Guanlin, Sungwoon, Daniel, Jaehwan, Minhyun. He thinks of Jinyoung. They leap forward, all of them and Daehwi thrashes out with both hands. He aims almost blindly, eyes open only enough to make sure he isn’t hitting one of his own team. He sees Jinyoung next to him, plunging his knife into one of the zombie’s chests while Jisung plunges one into the spongy mass of it’s brain, quickly darting backwards as it falls to the floor. One down, one to go. Guanlin and Jihoon wrestle with the second one alone. It’s large, probably even taller than Guanlin and has these terrible eyes, sharp and cold and _thirsty._ It sends shivers down his spine. In the fray, Daniel’s knife had caught on his arm, slicing a gash deep enough to be oozing blood. Daehwi had barely noticed it before but Jinyoung, next to him, let’s out something almost like a whimper, immediately grasping at Daehwi’s arm. 

“Did it bite you?” he snaps, dark eyes boring into Daehwi’s. Jinyoung’s fringe sticks to his forehead with sweat and he’s breathing heavily, grip on Daehwi’s arm a little too tight. He manages to shake his head and the other boy visibly deflates in relief, grip loosening. Daehwi takes the short breather as a chance to look upwards and his heart soars at the sight of the helicopter spiralling downwards, obviously coming towards them. He smiles, the action feeling unfamiliar with how little he’d been doing it lately. It draws Jinyoung’s attention first to him and then he, too, looks upwards. Despite the situation, Daehwi can’t help the fact that his eyes get caught on the way Jinyoung’s eyes shine, the way hope blooms in his smile. It takes his breath away just a little. _Dead man walking_. Behind them, the second zombie finally falls to the floor in a disgusting heap and Daehwi can’t help but feel guilty that he and Jinyoung didn’t help, both of them instead preoccupied with the helicopter - and each other, of course. Always each other.  

  
“Why do you think they’re here?” someone asks to Daehwi’s left and he’s suddenly reminded that you have to be weary of everything that happens, however big or small. Another rookie mistake. What if they’re here to kill them? What if they think they’re zombies? The possibilities of things going wrong, of them being mistaken are endless and Daehwi is half tempted to grab Jinyoung and the others and just disappear back into the sports hall until they all die of hunger but there’s something there, just a tiny pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel. They could be brought to safety, brought to a place where they don’t have to fear for their life every single minute, or sleep with weapons clutched in their hands. _He shouldn’t let himself hope._ That’s what he’s drilled into his own brain since he walked into his home to find his parents gone, blood smeared over the floor like cherry juice but he really can’t help it this time. He’s tired and in love and fears that he can’t lose anyone else without losing himself. _He shouldn’t._ Next to him, Jinyoung reaches for his hand and they intertwine their fingers together. He finds himself squeezing, hard, because this could be _it_ , this could be the rest of their lives together. Jisung, who stands on his other side, has his eyes cast upward, obvious worry clouding his gaze and Daehwi feels a sudden rush of affection and gratitude for him, how he always looks after them and makes sure they’re eating and always takes too many watches because he wants everyone else to get rest. Jisung must feel him staring, because he turns his head to catch Daehwi’s gaze and his face changes, just a second and the hard jawline melts and the sharp eyes crinkle upwards and he is smiling, twenty six again and carefree before it all comes crashing back down on him. 

 

Tenderly, Jisung takes Daehwi’s free arm, linking his own. On Jisung’s other side, Sungwoon intertwines his fingers with Jihoon and Daniel and eventually, they all stand there, touching whilst the helicopter hovers lower and lower. None of them say anything, no one replying to the question, just await their unspoken future. Daehwi thinks about a few weeks ago, how he thought he wouldn’t mind watching the world burn. Now that the flames are licking at his feet, he feels the sharp edges of regret. He really wants to survive, for Woojin and Jinyoung and everyone else he’s ever lost. He really wants to prove people wrong, to make his parents proud. Most of all, though, he really wants to be able to spend more time with Jinyoung, to be able to get to know him without death a step behind them. The helicopter is scarily close now, the propellors lifting Daehwi’s hair from his forehead. It stops lowering, just hovers there like some strange mutant insect. A door is flung open and a man dressed in all black, a mask pressed over his face, peeks his head out. He’s holding a megaphone. The sun illuminates it’s black paint and Daehwi’s exhausted mind thinks _God_. Is this them dying?

“Are all of you human?” he  calls out, voice coming out somewhat tinny and mechanical. Jisung holds up a hand, a thumbs up and Daehwi’s stomach still hasn’t stopped churning. The wind draws goosebumps onto his arms. The man in black turns around, obviously conferring with someone in the aircraft before facing them again. A minute later, he throws down a black ladder, dangling maybe a metre above the roof. Daehwi has so many questions his brain feels as if it might explode but he finds himself pushing Jisung towards the ladder, towards their only hope of prolonged survival. Jisung turns back to look at them, at _him_ and Daehwi can see it in his eyes as he clutches at Sungwoon’s hand, hope and gratitude and _love_ and then he turns around, helps Sungwoon up onto the ladder before following him. Daehwi waits with bated breath because even now, even with safety in arm’s reach they can’t quite grasp it yet, his mind can’t quite seem to believe they’re safe. Jihoon goes next, Guanlin hot on his tail, followed by Jaehwan and Minhyun and finally Daniel until it’s just him and Jinyoung on the ground in this terrible terrible world. Jinyoung reaches for him, curls a hand around his waist and, like this, with the helicopter propellors churning the land up around them, they kiss. It’s short, just a peck, really but Daehwi knows by the way Jinyoung pulls him flush against his body, how tight he holds him, what Jinyoung wants to say. _We’re going to be fine._

 

Daehwi makes the other boy go first and he looks almost reluctant, as if he believes Daehwi won’t follow him but he seems to understand what Daehwi needs to do, that he needs to stand here alone and think of Woojin so Jinyoung hops up onto the ladder, climbing a few rungs until he’s ten feet above and hanging and Daehwi makes his way to the edge, placing a shaking hand on the raised concrete walls. He can see masses from here, empty towns and villages and the green of the forest. Below him, what looks like hundreds of zombies have gathered below them, lured at the sound of the helicopter. In the back of his mind, Woojin appears, bright and happy and radiant, holding Hyungseop’s hand in the stands of their playing field, grimy and tired a few weeks into the apocalypse, smiling with Hyungseop in his arms. The thought of them, their final moments, comfort him and he takes a deep breath, digging his hands into the concrete for another second before turning around and mounting the ladder. Jinyoung has waited for him, those beautiful eyes trained on his back the whole time and Daehwi can’t help but feel tears sting his eyes, like everything that he’d been through had finally caught up with him and knocked him off of his feet. The cockpit, when he gets up there, is exactly how he expected a helicopter to look like except the chairs he thought would be in the back aren’t there, instead leaving an empty cavern for them to sit. The other seven boys all sit around the edge, holding onto frayed handles as the ground blurs green and grey underneath them and it is now, when Daehwi sits down next to Jinyoung, their thighs touching, that he realises how tired everyone looks. The man all in black turns from his place in the passenger seat. 

“We’re taking you kids to somewhere safe,” he says, voice grainy, “You’ll be okay there.”

Daehwi just finds himself nodding, too exhausted and spent to even question anything. He looks at his friends, his _family_. Daniel, staring down wordlessly at the ground, eyes glazed over, Jihoon and Guanlin, already dozing off with their palms pressed together between them. Jisung, too, stares out of the window with Sungwoon’s head on his shoulder but he seems to notice Daehwi’s eyes on him because he turns his head, offering him a weak smile. 

“You okay?” he questions and Minhyun pauses his hand running through Jaehwan’s hair to smile gently at him too and he’s _not,_ none of them are, but somehow, their smiles make it a little easier on his heart. He doesn’t cry anymore, just rests his head back, closing his eyes. Jinyoung nudges him and when their eyes meet, Daehwi has to close his own again because there will never be a time where he doesn’t find Jinyoung the most beautiful thing in the whole world, there will never be a time when Jinyoung isn’t the centre of his whole universe, not matter how good or bad it is. When the dark haired boy smiles at him, closed lipped and small, his heart tries to jump out of his chest, ready for Jinyoung to catch (ready for offering, ready to belong to him). A love built out of death and blood and weapons but a pure love all the same. Daehwi feels his own lips lift upwards, and before he knows it he’s tipping his head forward, crashing his lips against Jinyoung’s. 

 

_(Because Hansel was eager enough to follow.)_

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

“You know, when I first met you I thought you were from some other planet, that you weren’t human.”

Jinyoung chuckles, cocking an eyebrow - a signal for Daehwi to continue.

“I was wrong,” he murmurs, “You’re the most human out of all of us.”

Daehwi doesn’t say anything when Jinyoung pulls him closer, when he presses his lips to his cheek, lingering, loving. Jinyoung doesn’t say anything when even years later, Daehwi wakes up screaming Woojin’s name, when he opens his eyes to an empty bed, to find Daehwi sitting with Daniel in the common room of the military base they made a home out of, talking about Seongwoo and Woojin and Hyungseop. Yes, the apocalypse made Daehwi ruthless, made him lose all of the people close to him but it also drew him to Jinyoung, wonderful, gentle Jinyoung who Daehwi loves with all his heart. Maybe he would mind watching the world burn, after all. 

 

_It goes like this._

**Author's Note:**

> ah, so that's over. i started writing this a month ago, finished a week ago and proofread most of it about half an hour ago (well done, Isobel). I don't like a lot of this, possibly because i wrote it all so seperately and i feel like some things are unrealistic (i haven't experienced a zombie apocalypse before) and i've been CRAZY busy with back to school right now so i apologise if it's not on par with previous works, i tried my hardest. nevertheless, i really do hope you enjoyed this and i'm so sorry i killed ong and hyungseop and especially woojin because he was a complete Darling and my bias in real life but for the sake of the story, it had to be done. at least he died with his boy though, right? ALSO, just a psa that I'm from England, and although we speak the same language, American-English and English-English is drastically different occasionally and i'm drastically aware that most of you speak american-english. I hope you can understand it as i tried my hardest with my limited knowledge of american spoken english. ANYWAY, you know the drill, contact me on tumblr @4gguks or twitter @tenpwj for questions, complaints or even just a chat!!! thank u so much for reading, hope it wasn't too much of a let down. i appreciate kudos and comments a lot too!!! love you!


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